LinkedIn = Facebook in a Suit

You know what LinkedIn is?

It's a digital costume party where everyone shows up dressed as their boss. Subtly is not a common theme.

The whole thing is like a pyramid scheme where the currency is buzzwords and the product is your dignity.

• "Synergy"

• "Disruption"

• "Thought leadership"

It's corporate Mad Libs played by people too afraid to admit they're just trying to pay their mortgage like everybody else.

Have you seen these types of LinkedIn posts? "Feeling blessed to share that I've accepted a position as Chief Visionary Catalyst at DataSynergyCorp!"

Which means they got a middle management job updating spreadsheets.

My personal favourite is "Today I had to make the difficult decision to let go of 500 valued team members,” posted by some CEO from their second home in Napa Valley.

They call it "rightsizing" because "mass firing" doesn't get enough engagement metrics or positive attention.

Then there's the "humble brag" Olympics.

"Grateful to be featured in Forbes' '30 Under 30 list!" followed by a professional headshot that took longer to edit than their actual work day.

And don't get me started on the "agree?" posts. Some genius writes, "Good leaders eat last," and suddenly, 10,000 corporate zombies are in the comments typing "Agree!" like they're in some digital Amway meeting.

The only thing missing is a "Live, Laugh, Lead" poster in Comic Sans or one of those inspirational quotes on a golf green.